The Adventures of Bimbolinaho

The Blonde leading the Blind...

Humorist, Cycnic, Blogger, Blonde. Kinda like Grumpy Cat, but with boobs. Judging stupid people is my real job.#theblondeleadingtheblind

 

Stupid Spoiled Whore Adventure App

Do you remember the episode of SouthPark where ripped Paris Hilton apart by pointing out how vapid and pointless her existence is? It’s one of my favorite episodes and it leaped to the forefront of my mind this week when I saw this:

So, given my personal experience with these horrible human beings, I feel it’s my duty to review this app….  Fasten your seatbelts.


“Description:  Join Kim Kardashian on a red carpet adventure in Kim Kardashian: Hollywood! Create your own aspiring celebrity and rise to fame and fortune! “

First of all, I want to see the evidence proving Kim Kardashian is an actual celebrity and not the highest paid beard in Hollywood. And I’m going to assume the instructions for shooting your own sex tape with the camera on your smartphone are included for the “creating an aspiring celebrity” portion of the game. After all, when you have no talent, no brains, and no moral compass the fastest way to become a celebrity is to shoot a sex tape and let your mother sell it to the highest bidder.

“Create Your Own Star and customize your look with hundreds of style options, including Kim Kardashian’s personal picks!”

Great. Just what we need. An app that teaches our kids not to stay in school, but the finer points of the “hooker-chic” side of fashion.

“Rule the Red Carpet as an A-List movie actor, cover model, fashion designer and more. What you do is up to you!”

Does the “A” in “A-List” stand for Asshat?

“Take over L.A.  In a virtual world complete with exclusive clubs, upscale boutiques,  and luxury homes. Travel to New York City and Miami!” 

 Not surprising, really. Those are the only three cities Kim knows by name and the jury is still out on whether or not she can spell Miami…

“Date and Dump Celebs at the best parties and hottest clubs! Flirt and become the next huge celebrity power couple.”

There are so many things wrong with this I don’t know where to begin… Is this her message to young girls who want to be successful in life?! Not study hard and stay in school, not be kind to others, but date, dump and whore your way to the top?! If this is her attempt to give back to society, I’d rather she do something that will truly benefit the youth of America, like drop dead. 

 

And now, to bring in all home for you, here’s my favorite part of the App…It’s rated PG-13 for the following reasons:

 

Infrequent/Mild Cartoon or Fantasy Violence.

Infrequent/Mild Horror /Fear Themes.

Infrequent/Mild Alcohol, Tobacco, or Drug use or Reference.

Infrequent/Mild Profanity or Crude Humor.

Infrequent/Mild SexualContent and Nudity.

Infrequent/Mild Mature/Suggestive Themes.

 

So, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, please, please, puh-lease write an episode of SouthPark about the blight on our society known as the Kardashians. SNL did a couple of segments on Kim and Kayne that were funny but nowhere near level of your razor sharp skewering. Plus, it’ll make me very, very happy…