The Adventures of Bimbolinaho

The Blonde leading the Blind...

Humorist, Cycnic, Blogger, Blonde. Kinda like Grumpy Cat, but with boobs. Judging stupid people is my real job.#theblondeleadingtheblind

 

Only in North Carolina

 

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This is 27 year old Jerrod Ashley Workman. On May 2nd, he was arrested for 11 counts of statutory rape and 5 counts of statutory sex offense. What makes this story unique, is that he spent 5 days hiding in the bedroom closet of the 14 year old girl he's accused of assaulting. Authorities say he met the girl on a social media website a month before they decided to meet in person. The girl, being the moron all kids are at that age, invited him to stay at her parents house. He then spent the next 5 days hiding in her bedroom closet during the day and assaulting the girl at night after everyone had gone to bed. The girl's mother was the one who ultimately discovered him and he bolted from the house. Later, the authorities, with the help of a canine unit, caught him out in the woods behind the house....I know that it's wrong to make light of someone else's hardship, but I have questions. Many, many questions. Firstly, how in the hell did the parents not know there was someone else in their house? Let's assume both parents work during the day and he had free reign of the house while they were gone, would they not notice food missing, or knicks knacks out of place? Secondly, what about the smell?! 5 Days without bathing?! And regular access to a toilet? Or maybe he did bathe and no one noticed the wet towels on the floor?! Thirdly, were there any pets in the house? There are three dogs and three cats in my house and there is no such thing as privacy. Meaning, you can't take a shit without an audience. Besides, my asshole of a cat would rat him out in a second. He is the all knowing enforcer in my house and nothing gets past him...

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Now, I feel badly for the the girl, I really do. However, I take exception with the mother's statement to the media that "the internet has ruined that girl."  Um, it was the lack of parental supervision that ruined that girl. Computers are not toys, people. The internet is no different in a child's hands than a loaded gun.

And look how well that's worked out...