The Adventures of Bimbolinaho

The Blonde leading the Blind...

Humorist, Cycnic, Blogger, Blonde. Kinda like Grumpy Cat, but with boobs. Judging stupid people is my real job.#theblondeleadingtheblind

 

13 Signs You're From My North Carolina

A few weeks ago, an article from Buzzfeed about being from North Carolina made it's rounds on Facebook. The article was clever, poignant and made me a little homesick for my home state. 

So, here is my take on the same topic. And before the haters come at me with their comments, I'm from North Carolina, I love North Carolina, and I have every right to judge North Carolina.

Also, y'all can suck it.

13 Signs You're From My North Carolina

1). You're proud to hail from the Tar Heel state, even though no one actually knows where the f*ck that name came from...

2). NC ranks #32 in Education, #46 in Teachers' salaries, and #1 in dumbf*ckery.   

3). You hate race week as much as I do and wonder if the freak accidents that plague the Charlotte Motor Speedway, are simply God's way of thinning the herd.

4). You wish Billy Graham would just shut the f*ck up already.

5). You have at least one tattoo that is misspelled. (See #2.)

6.) You think that this douche bag will be as useless a Governor as he was a Mayor.

His crowning achievements as Mayor: the NASCAR Hall of Fame and having his car stolen out of his driveway while it was still running.

7.) You couldn't have your yearbook picture taken with you holding your newborn son.

(In her defense, the Senior class of her high school was invited to pose with props that represented their greatest achievements and she is from Randolph County…so…..)

8.) You don't understand why it's legal to marry your cousin here, but not your gay cousin.

9). You're a hurricane snob.  "Pffft! It's only a Category 2! I've farted stronger winds than that!"

10). You've ever been to a Carolina Panthers Game and listened to 2 drunken idiots behind you debate why or why not Jeff Gordon is a whiny little bitch who may or may not be ruining the sport of stock car racing.

11). You love the fact that manners are still a huge part of the culture. Thank you, so very much!

12). You have more children than you do teeth. (Granted, this could also be said about Kentucky, Tennessee, South Carolina, Alabama, and Mississippi.)

13). You thought the wrapping of Jesse Helm's house in a giant condom was one of the proudest moments in North Carolina's history (even though it happened in Arlington, VA.)