The Adventures of Bimbolinaho

The Blonde leading the Blind...

Humorist, Cycnic, Blogger, Blonde. Kinda like Grumpy Cat, but with boobs. Judging stupid people is my real job.#theblondeleadingtheblind

 

The Cocoon Terrorists

Just when you think you've seen/heard it all, something out of the blue comes along and punches you right in the face. A little old lady came in for her first PT session while I was there today. Not really unusual; Old people come and go in this place all the time. (I think I'm one of the youngest patients there.) I was laying on one of the tables getting my Ice treatment on and she was set up on the table beside me. Her husband was with her & I thought it was sweet that he was holding her hand while she was talking to the her therapist. I was about to put my headphones on and chill out to my iPod when I overheard something that paralyzed me. I didn't know whether to laugh, cry or throw up. So, of course I eavesdropped some more. She was asking her therapist when she & her husband could start having "regular sex" again. Now, I know that the question itself is not uncommon. I'm sure Physical Therapists get that question all the time. But you had to see them to get the full effect. They had to be in their mid to late 80's at the very least. I don't know what she was recovering from, but it looked extensive. There were metal braces on both legs, one arm was in a sling and she was using a walker with wheels to get around. She looked like a god damned transformer! Her husband, who appeared to be the healthy one of the two, was walking with a cane. I won't go into details, but essentially, she was getting tired of servicing him and wanted the therapist to tell her husband she was healthy enough for him to reciprocate.That's right! Grandma and Grandpa got game!When they started talking about what positions to try, I had pretty much had a PTSD flashback to 1985 and I was in the movie theater seeing "Cocoon"and trying not to puke up all my popcorn. It occurred to me as I put my headphones back on, that maybe being an 80's super freak in the sack is how Grandma ended up in Physical Therapy in the first place...

And even though I know I'm going to be one someday, I have to say old people creep me out.